THE CHARTS:  CLUB MONDO'S TOP 7 SONGS THIS WEEK, HERE'S WHAT'S PLAYING IN CLUB MEZZII

KANYE STAYS AT #1, DOMINATES WTH TOP THREE SONGS

7.  MY BAND, D12

6.  IF I AIN'T GOT YOU, ALICIA KEYS

5.  SHE WANTS TO MOVE, N.E.R.D.

4.  MY FIRST SONG, JAY Z

3.    JESUS WALKS, KANYE WEST

2.  DIALATED PEOPLES, THIS WAY

1.  ALL FALLS DOWN, KANYE WEST

WANKSTA OF THE WEEK:  SEAN PAUL (RECORD 81 STRAIGHT WEEKS, JA RULE OWNED THE SPOT FOR 32 WEEKS PRIOR)

         LOOK YOU FAKE FUCK, YOU ARE NOT JAMACAN.  I HAVE HEARD YOU TALK IN INTERVIEWS AND YOU SLIP UP SOMETIMES AND START TALKIN STREET...PLEASE.....BEFORE YOU STARTED RAPPIN I ASKED MYSELF ONLY ONE QUESTION ABOUT THE RAP GAME...WHEN THE HELL DID R.KELLY BECOME A GANGSTA?  BUT NOW YOUR GOOFY CHAPED ASS JUST GAVE ME THREE QUESTIONS!  SECOND QUESTION...WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING WHEN YOU RAP, OR SPEAK FOR THAT MATTER...I CAN UNDERSTAND LIL KIM BETTER WITH A FULL MOUTH AFTER A BAD BOY PARTY BEFORE I CAN EVEN INTERPRET A WORD OUT OF YOUR MOUTH!  AND THIRDLY WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN FAMOUS.  WHY DO I HAVE TO BOYCOT MTV BECAUSE ALL THEY SHOW IS YOUR MILLI VANILLI FAKE ASS IN EVERY VIDEO I SEE!  THAT'S ALL I GOT FOR YA THIS WEEK...DON'T WORRY IN THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS YOU WILL DO SOMETHING TO PISS ME OFF ENOUGH TO WRITE ABOUT FOR YOUR WANKSTA OF THE WEEK HONORS OF NEXT WEEK.  ALRIGHT BITCH, THANKS..AND KEEP IT WANKSTA.

 -MONDO X

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             EMINEM AND MONDO X BATTLE TO EXHAUSTION

                      AT FIRST EVER CLUB MONDO LIFT OFF

             VS.

                            EMINEM                                   MONDO X

SACRAMENO, CA:  A WILD WEDNESDAY MORNING GOT EVEN CRAZIER IN THE CLUB MONDO V.I.P. ROOM AT APPROXIMATELY 4:00AM PACIFIC STANDARD TIME LAST WEDNESDAY.  FOLLOWING A COMEBACK VICTORY AGAINST EMINEM PREVIOUSLY IN THE NIGHT ON A SEQUENCE OF THREE MONDO X JUMPERS (EVENTIALY PROVING TO BE THE GAME WINNING JUMPER OF THE 2:00AM DRUNK BASKETBALL MATCH) THE CLUB OWNER BECAME INTISED IN A LIFT OFF BY CLUB STAFF MEMBER EMINEM.  EMINEM, FULLED BY THE DETROIT ANTHEMS AND 8MILE SOUNDTRACK BEING PLAYED AT THE TIME, SWIFTLY KICKED OUT 32 RIGHT BICEP CURLS WITH 35 POUNDS OF WEIGHT BEFORE QUITING CITING STIFNESS IN HIS RIGHT BICEP.  MONDO X GLADLY FINNISHED THE FINAL CURL AND WON THE COMPETITION TO REMAIN LIFT OFF CHAMP.  "I THINK IF I WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN DRUNK AND IF I HAD ACTUALLY WORKED OUT I WOULD HAVE WON....OH YEAAAH,"  EMINEM SAID DIRECTLY FOLLOWING THE EVENT IN THE DEL TACO DRIVETHROUGH.   MONDO X LEFT VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE DETROIT RAP STAR'S PERFORMANCE.  "THE GHB BEGAN TO WEIGH ON ME AT AROUND CURL 19, BUT I JUST FOUGHT THROUGH IT...OHHH AND THAT WAS BECAUSE OF THE SPEEDBALL THAT I SNORTED WITH MY OLD TEEMATE D-RUSS (LATER CONFIRMED TO BE TAMPA BAY BUCS DEFENSIVE TACKLE DARRELL RUSSELL) TWO MINUTES BEFORE.  MAN WERE THE ENDORPHINS GOING,"  SAID JANIKOWSKI/ MONDO X WHILE SEATED NEXT TO EMINEM IN THE DEL TACO DRIVETHROUGH.  "THAT KID IS STRONG," THE CLUB OWNER ADDED.  MONDO X WILL LIKELY TAKE A WEEK OFF ONLY TO COMEBACK FOR ANOTHER MATCH NEXT WEEK. 

IN THE UNDERCARD:

THE UNDERCARD MATCH FEATURED MATT SISTO VS. DANNY SULLIVAN HOWEVER, A DRAW WAS DECLARED AFTER SEVEN CONSECITIVE POORLY EXECUTED CURLS.  THE MATCH WAS STOPPED AT 22  CURLS, JUST SHORT OF MR. PEEPERS PERSONAL BEST OF 24.

              BUDDY HOLLY SLOW OFF THE LINE, LOSES TO              

              CHUUUCH IN CLUB MONDO D-LINE VS O-LINE

                                           CHALLANGE